TV of 2011

2011 is nearly over, and it's time for me to reflect on the televisual year that was. One thing to note, looking at my list, is that this wasn't a great year for American TV. Having said that, I haven't seen Once Upon A Time yet or American Horror Story, both of which look like they could be good. But out of what aired in 2011 on British TV, here's my top 10, in reverse order for added tension!

10. Misfits series 3

This is much lower down my list than it was last year. Lets be honest, Misfits lost some of its mojo in series three. Was it because Nathan left? Maybe not. Joe Gilgun stole the entire series as "the new guy" Rudy, with his inventive split-personality power, cheerleader phobia and love of frozen treats.In fact, it was the power-swapping that really messed up the show. Their powers were demoted from clever metaphors for the personalities to just a side-note that can be swapped when they need new ones. The new powers, bar Curtis' gender-swapping ability, left little room for exploration. The series makes the list for a few genius things alone: Rudy, Kelly's delivery of "fucking Nazis", the zombie episode and the brilliant, brain-hurting, tear-jerking finale that makes you instantly want to rewatch series 2.

9. Smallville series 10

Here's where it all ended for Smallville, that loyal little show that's been with me my entire adult life. Clark Kent finally donned the red and blue and Lex Luthor returned from the dead (and conveniently lost his memory). Some characters unexpectedly died and some unexpectedly survived. Just about anyone who ever had a role in the show returned, and even if Darkseid was a complete wash-out, who cares? We got Brainiac 5, Emil Hamilton singing Elvis, Hawkman being awesome, Jimmy Olsen returning (and looking an awful lot like his big brother), Michael Hogan back in an eye patch, Justin Hartley dressed as a showgirl and the Superman theme tune. Good times.

8. The Shadow Line

A compelling, grown-up drama, billed (optomistically) as the British Wire. It's not that good, and in fact it occupies a stylised universe all of its own rather than The Wire's brutal realism, but it boasted one of the best casts of the year including the scene-stealer of 2011, Stephen Rea as the unexpectedly terrifying Gatehouse. The resolution was a little odd, but it kept you guessing until the very end with its nicely cyclical twist. In the words of BSG: "All this has happened before..."

7. The Crimson Petal and the White

My obligitory period drama of the year. This dark, disturbing drama is only three episodes long but it will change the way you look at Victorian dramas. It out-Dickens Dickens in the misery stakes and shows just about every character you care about being totally screwed over by the patriarchal Victorian system. Romola Garai's got to be a shoo-in for a BAFTA for her role as justifiably vengeful prostitute Sugar.

6. Fresh Meat

My comedy-drama of the year, this proves that I was onto something all those times that I said someone should make a show about students. Okay, so Kingsley and Josie let the side down a little, but Howard, Oregon, JP and Vod are surely four of the characters of the year. Jack Whitehall surprised everyone by being good (especially since he had the difficult job of making a posh twat loveable) but Zawe Ashton deserves all the plaudits for her intoxicated, bewildered, rambling Vod. It's a rare show where the girls get to be as funny as the boys.

5. The Fades

This was the most exciting new British series of the year and it still doesn't have a second series commissioned. Yes, it loses points because the nerdy banter between the two teen leads is from circa 1999, but a mundane 'I see dead people' show evolved into a daring, morally complex, thrilling drama. Characters drop dead all over the place, Iain De Caestecker and Daniel Kaluuya made a hell of an impact and Angelic Neil was easily the most bat-shit crazy character of the year. If it doesn't get a second series it'll be an outrage.

4. Merlin series 4

This series marked a watershed for the family-friendly show that's grown up with its audience (and cast). The world of the show was turned upside down with episode 3 and gave the show a much-needed shake-up. It's not 'safe' anymore - characters die, betray and get hurt. It still has the odd weak episode and it's a shame that the focus seems to be moving away from Merlin and the compelling Colin Morgan and towards Arthur, but this was their best series yet.

3. Being Human series 3

This was the final series of Being Human as we know it. After the disappointment of series 2, this series really stepped up a gear with Robson Green surprising everyone as a suspicious werewolf, Mitchell going to alarming lengths to protect his dark secrets, and the ticking time bomb that is amnesiac Herrick in the attic. Series 3 was 6 episodes of pure tension with a heart-wrenching finale that brings everything back to the central relationship between the werewolf, the ghost, and the vampire who, try as he might, was always just a little bit less human than them.

2. Doctor Who series 6

The Moffat/Smith dream-team really hit their stride this year, with Matt Smith just getting better and better, Karen Gillan finally making Amy likeable and Alex Kingston and Arthur Darvill doing sterling work. This was the year of the River Song mystery, but it was two intelligent, powerful stand-alone episodes by Neil Gaiman and Tom McRae that the series will really be remembered for.

1. Game of Thrones

The most addictive, compelling new show of the year, stuffed with cliffhangers and jaw-droppng shocks (for those of us who haven't read the books). It's fantasy in the same way that BSG was sci-fi, in that it's really about politics and human nature. It's gorgeous to look at and boasts an amazing cast (albeit one that gets killed off at a rate of knots), and is the best show on TV for playing 'spot the obscure British TV actor' (it's Chris from Skins! It's that bird off Hollyoaks! It's... Jerome Flynn?!?) I'm eagerly anticipating series 2.

Smallville - Providing guilty pleasure since 2001

Remember when Smallville first started? The outcry over Lex Luthor being Clark's teenhood best friend? The cringing at the over-egged dialogue and tiresome freak-of-the-week guest stars? Well, somewhere along the way Smallville became the longest running continuous sci-fi series of all time. I've spent ten years of my life laughing out loud at ridiculous plot developments and Tom Welling's uncanny resemblance to a red setter and declaring that it really is an awful programme. But somehow, despite (or possibly because of) all of that it became one of my favourite shows. And tomorrow its final ever episode airs in the UK. So just how did the show that gave us the frankly insane Lana-as-evil-reincarnated-witch arc become such an institution?

Well, it's Superman, isn't it? That guarantees an audience right off the bat. Hell, that's the only reason I watched it, so I could point at the screen and go "hey, it's Perry White/J'onn Jonz/Ma Hunkel!" But for the first few series you'd be forgiven for not even realising that it was a Superman show were it not for the regular shots of the Kent Farm sign and the lumps of green rock everywhere. The meteor freaks were a canny idea initially, but one that quickly made the show a little stale.

In fact, the show only really stepped up a gear once it found the confidence to embrace its comic book roots and start introducing recognisable heroes and villains like Aquaman, Green Arrow and Brainiac. But it seems a shame to disregard the weaker, repetitive high school series' for one very big reason:

Lex Luthor.

The character whose inclusion caused the most ire among the fans was probably the thing that saved the show from cancellation. Or more accurately, Michael Rosenbaum was. Despite a script that never once remembered that Lex is the smartest man on earth, and which had him pinballing between good and evil twice an episode, Rosenbaum somehow managed to turn in the best portrayal of Luthor yet seen on screen. His development from unloved, lonely but somehow hopeful young man into the supervillain of legend was far more interesting than Clark's development into Superman.

He was helped by John Glover's bonkers, over-annunciating performance as the gloriously-haired Lionel Luthor, and between them the two of them created the most compelling moments of the show, from Lionel realising just how badly he's damaged his son in the brilliant Memoria to Lex declaring "No one will even remember your name" before Lionel takes an unplanned dive off LuthorCorp.

Unfortunately, Rosenbaum was so good that he skewed the balance of the show. As far as I was concerned, Lex was a lovely bloke before Clark came along and made him evil. It's a shame the writers lacked the patience to show Lex on a slightly more believable descent into bitterness, jealousy and villainry. Instead, they just decided somewhere between series five and six 'okay, he's a baddie now'. It's no surprise really that Rosenbaum jumped ship after series seven.

But, in a strange way, his departure actually evened the show out. It forced the rest of the cast to step up. And while Tom Welling never became a great actor (he did become a pretty good director though...) the others all over time really upped their games. Rosenbaum's departure also coincided more or less with Lana's, which was the best thing that ever happened to Smallville.

With the high school chaff well and truly sorted (Sam Jones III's awful Pete Ross didn't even make it to graduation) Smallville was - after a brief and disasterous flirtation with college - able to finally grow up. Allison Mack's always brilliant Chloe shouldered the heavy emoting while Erica Durance's Lois evolved from an annoyance to the driven, spunky reporter of legend. With the addition of the excellent Justin Hartley's Oliver Queen (he of the flawless comic timing and rarely-clothed chest) the cast moved into something approaching, well, good.

In its last few years Smallville often ran with arcs that never quite worked (Doomsday) and special guests that spectacularly failed to be special (Black Canary was awful - no wonder they did away with her relationship with Ollie), but it finally rose above the tackiness that mired it in earlier series'. It pulled off a stone-cold classic with the should-have-been-terrible Justice Society two-parter. It even made Hawkman cooler than he's even been in comics.

In the latter half of the Smallville's run, I found myself wishing the show would become more of an ensemble piece and give more screen time to excellent bit-part players like Phil Morris as the criminally under-used John Jones, Kyle Gallner as Bart Allen, Pam Grier's Amanda Waller, Eric Martsolf as Booster Gold and Alessandro Juliani's Emil Hamilton. But the show always stuck a little too closely to its main character - Clark. Which didn't stop Justin Hartley from gleefully stealing the show on more than one occassion.

Smallville always punched above its weight visually, with gorgeous cinematography and excellent special effects. It took a while for the production team to put as much effort into the scripts and actors, but eventually they did and after ten years I have developed a respect for a show that I used to laugh at and now laugh with. It's even given me some geek-out moments to treasure, loving nods to the hardcore fans like Lex's nightmare vision of himself as a white-suited President and the line "Perhaps Brainiac 5 will be an improvement."

I can't believe that Warner Bros haven't already rushed to fill the Smallville-shaped hole with a Justice League spin-off. It's a shame that DC, for now, have lost an ideal gateway to bring new fans into their universe. I never thought I would one day lament the loss of Tom Welling from my TV schedule. But I'm really going to miss Smallville.

TV Moments of the Noughties

I spent a large part of the noughties intending to be young and cool just as soon as this episode of Angel ends, so I feel I'm well placed to make a (highly subjective) Top Moments list. I'm like Channel 4. Or a female John Cusak (which I guess would be Joan Cusak...) Before anyone makes any outcries of protest, I'd like to preface this by adding that I have never seen The Wire or The Sopranos. I am suitably ashamed of myself.

Villain of the Decade
Sherri Palmer - 24.
Somehow, her self-interested scheming was more boo-hissable than Nina's out-and-out evilry. (It's like revelry - 'cept evil)

Hero of the Decade
Mr Bennett - Heroes
Peter Petrelli may be the official hero of the show, but we all know Mr B would kick his ass.

Babe of the Decade
Trisha Helfer - Battlestar Galactica
I'm a straight woman and even I know she's hot. The woman walks like she owns the patent on legs.

Hunk of the Decade
Jensen Ackles - Supernatural
Come on, have you seen the guy?! And he does funny!

Guest Star of the Decade
George Clooney - ER
They all said it couldn't be done. But not only was Gorgeous George's return completely unstarry, it was also upstaged by Carter and Benton's reunion. Now that's class.

Unsung Star of the Decade
Nathan Fillion, of course.
Why he isn't headlining tentpoles I don't know. He's the new Harrison Ford.

Pilot of the Decade
Dexter
It's all there, right from the opener, and it maintained the standard. Special mention to Desperate Housewives, who gave us a hell of an opener.

Finale of the Decade
Six Feet Under
There can be no more perfect end to a show about death.

Credits of the Decade
True Blood
The greatest Emmys upset since Michael C Hall went home empty-handed. Again.

Soundtrack of the Decade
Life on Mars
From that very first spine-tingling David Bowie moment, it was a cracker.

Special Effects of the Decade
Sam flies into battle - Battlestar Galactica
By series four we had seen countless BSG space battles, but through Sam's newbie eyes it all seemed grander and more immediate than ever.

Scare of the Decade
The Weeping Angels - Doctor Who
Their real faces sent even desensitised kids diving for the sofa cushions.

Fight of the Decade
Echo and Ballard - Dollhouse
Not a great show. But this was a great fight.

Shock of the Decade
Boomer shoots the old man - Battlestar Galactica
Who the frak saw that coming?

Visual Gag of the Decade
The blind guide dog falls into the bin - Arrested Development
Just one moment from a show packed full of them.

Weeping with Laughter of the Decade
"Where's Puke Point Three? WHERE'S PUKE POINT THREE?!?" - Peep Show
Also: "Who wants some of my chair?!" Being Human proves that being a werewolf does not immediately make you a superhero.

Romance of the Decade
Turk and JD - Scrubs
Because it's Guy Love. Between two guys.

Comedy Creation of the Decade
The entire Bluth family - Arrested Development
Including Tobias. Or possibly especially Tobias.

Death of the Decade
Mark Greene - ER
Grown men now cry at the first bars of Over the Rainbow. Although special mention to the (huge number of) Joss Whedon deaths: Joyce, Tara, Fred, Cordelia... He is the undisputed king of the death scene.

Randomness of the Decade
Smile Time - Angel
"I know, let's turn our leading man into a muppet!" Somehow, this became televisual gold.

Unwatched Show of the Decade
Carnivale
Why?!? Watch it, you unenlightened fools! It's brilliant!

Geek-Out of the Decade
Lex Luthor kills his father - Smallville
"No-one will even remember your name" Lex tells Lionel as he shoves him out of a window. That's because he renames the company Lexcorp! WAAA! Then Michael Rosenbaum left the show. All seems a bit of a waste now.

Cartoon of the Decade
Justice League
No, seriously. Kim Possible was good too. Oh, and what's that show about that family man...

Period Drama of the Decade
Cranford
It's lovely. But this time I also have to give equal credit to Mad Men, which makes me want to go back to the 1960s, resent my husband and drink myself into elegant decay.

Pleasant Surprise of the Decade
Misfits.
It was good.

Unpleasant Surprise of the Year
Joey.
It wasn't.

Most Quoted Line of the Decade
"What's occurin'?" - Gavin and Stacey
Trickier to quote that you'd think. The Welsh accent is a bitch.

Most Quoted Line in the Follow the Nerd household
"Surprise, motherfucker!" - Dexter
I still sometimes use this as a telephone greeting.

Actor of the Decade
Michael C Hall - Six Feet Under/Dexter
Take that, Emmys! Anyone who can completely inhabit two roles that could not be further apart deserves a big gold star in my book. What he does is extraordinary.

Actress of the Decade
Felicity Huffman - Desperate Housewives
She steals the show and beats her botoxed co-stars over the head with it.

Well now I feel bad - there are hardly any British shows on this list! Hmm - I'll make up for it by dedicating a blog to brilliant British TV soon. In the meantime - criticise my choices to your heart's content!