I spent a large part of the noughties intending to be young and cool just as soon as this episode of Angel ends, so I feel I'm well placed to make a (highly subjective) Top Moments list. I'm like Channel 4. Or a female John Cusak (which I guess would be Joan Cusak...) Before anyone makes any outcries of protest, I'd like to preface this by adding that I have never seen The Wire or The Sopranos. I am suitably ashamed of myself.
Villain of the Decade
Sherri Palmer - 24.
Somehow, her self-interested scheming was more boo-hissable than Nina's out-and-out evilry. (It's like revelry - 'cept evil)
Hero of the Decade
Mr Bennett - Heroes
Peter Petrelli may be the official hero of the show, but we all know Mr B would kick his ass.
Babe of the Decade
Trisha Helfer - Battlestar Galactica
I'm a straight woman and even I know she's hot. The woman walks like she owns the patent on legs.
Hunk of the Decade
Jensen Ackles - Supernatural
Come on, have you seen the guy?! And he does funny!
Guest Star of the Decade
George Clooney - ER
They all said it couldn't be done. But not only was Gorgeous George's return completely unstarry, it was also upstaged by Carter and Benton's reunion. Now that's class.
Unsung Star of the Decade
Nathan Fillion, of course.
Why he isn't headlining tentpoles I don't know. He's the new Harrison Ford.
Pilot of the Decade
It's all there, right from the opener, and it maintained the standard. Special mention to Desperate Housewives, who gave us a hell of an opener.
Finale of the Decade
Six Feet Under
There can be no more perfect end to a show about death.
Credits of the Decade
The greatest Emmys upset since Michael C Hall went home empty-handed. Again.
Soundtrack of the Decade
Life on Mars
From that very first spine-tingling David Bowie moment, it was a cracker.
Special Effects of the Decade
Sam flies into battle - Battlestar Galactica
By series four we had seen countless BSG space battles, but through Sam's newbie eyes it all seemed grander and more immediate than ever.
Scare of the Decade
The Weeping Angels - Doctor Who
Their real faces sent even desensitised kids diving for the sofa cushions.
Fight of the Decade
Echo and Ballard - Dollhouse
Not a great show. But this was a great fight.
Shock of the Decade
Boomer shoots the old man - Battlestar Galactica
Who the frak saw that coming?
Visual Gag of the Decade
The blind guide dog falls into the bin - Arrested Development
Just one moment from a show packed full of them.
Weeping with Laughter of the Decade
"Where's Puke Point Three? WHERE'S PUKE POINT THREE?!?" - Peep Show
Also: "Who wants some of my chair?!" Being Human proves that being a werewolf does not immediately make you a superhero.
Romance of the Decade
Turk and JD - Scrubs
Because it's Guy Love. Between two guys.
Comedy Creation of the Decade
The entire Bluth family - Arrested Development
Including Tobias. Or possibly especially Tobias.
Death of the Decade
Mark Greene - ER
Grown men now cry at the first bars of Over the Rainbow. Although special mention to the (huge number of) Joss Whedon deaths: Joyce, Tara, Fred, Cordelia... He is the undisputed king of the death scene.
Randomness of the Decade
Smile Time - Angel
"I know, let's turn our leading man into a muppet!" Somehow, this became televisual gold.
Unwatched Show of the Decade
Why?!? Watch it, you unenlightened fools! It's brilliant!
Geek-Out of the Decade
Lex Luthor kills his father - Smallville
"No-one will even remember your name" Lex tells Lionel as he shoves him out of a window. That's because he renames the company Lexcorp! WAAA! Then Michael Rosenbaum left the show. All seems a bit of a waste now.
Cartoon of the Decade
No, seriously. Kim Possible was good too. Oh, and what's that show about that family man...
Period Drama of the Decade
It's lovely. But this time I also have to give equal credit to Mad Men, which makes me want to go back to the 1960s, resent my husband and drink myself into elegant decay.
Pleasant Surprise of the Decade
It was good.
Unpleasant Surprise of the Year
Most Quoted Line of the Decade
"What's occurin'?" - Gavin and Stacey
Trickier to quote that you'd think. The Welsh accent is a bitch.
Most Quoted Line in the Follow the Nerd household
"Surprise, motherfucker!" - Dexter
I still sometimes use this as a telephone greeting.
Actor of the Decade
Michael C Hall - Six Feet Under/Dexter
Take that, Emmys! Anyone who can completely inhabit two roles that could not be further apart deserves a big gold star in my book. What he does is extraordinary.
Actress of the Decade
Felicity Huffman - Desperate Housewives
She steals the show and beats her botoxed co-stars over the head with it.
Well now I feel bad - there are hardly any British shows on this list! Hmm - I'll make up for it by dedicating a blog to brilliant British TV soon. In the meantime - criticise my choices to your heart's content!